apparently i really am fucked
So last night I was at work and this groovy nurse practitioner who is all into astrology (way more than I am, obviously) reads my chart, turns to me with a horrific look on her face, and says:
Groovy nurse: Whoa...you're fucked.
Me: Huh?
GN: What kind of nurse do you want to be?
Me: I think hospice.
GN: No...you should be in the ER or the ICU.
Me: Huh?
GN: That is, IF you graduate...
Me: If?
GN: Yes, if...if you graduate. You're a Sagittarius and your Mercury is in Libra. You finish nothing, right?
Me: Hmmmm....
GN: You're flaky and irresponsible, right?
Me: Hmmmm....
GN: You'd rather have fun than accomplish tasks, right?
Me: Hmmmm....
GN: You'd rather stay home than work at all, right?
Me: Hmmmm....
GN: Your relationships fail because you get bored, right?
Me: Hmmmm....
GN: And even when you're IN a relationship, you're keeping your options open and looking around, right?
Me: Hmmmm....ok, that's not all true.
GN: Yes it is, but you keep telling yourself it's not.
Me: Ok, so what sign is good for me? How about Sagittarius?
GN: No...2 Sagittarians together get nothing done.
Me: Ok, well that's why I'm divorced, not in love with the violinist, and why St. Louis is the state of misery. How about Cancer?
GN: No no no! Water signs put out your fire. No Pisces, no Scorpio. You need a strong air sign...a Taurus...whose Venus is in Aries or Leo.
Me: (glazing over) Ok, I'll just start interviewing tomorrow...
So there it is. Then I send a text message to my friend who thinks I'm uncool and he invalidates the whole experience by saying, "You're too smart to believe that stuff, right?" Well no, I'm too smart to not at least consider it. And like I said, superstitious. So...
I'm not looking anyway...my mind is elsewhere and my heart has been stolen by some almost 9 year-olds. But if it ever happens for me again, I'll know whether it's possible or not as soon as I do his chart.
Quote of the week: "You mean my astronomical sign?" ---Dilan, at the stupid hospital training last week, when I asked her what her sign was...
Groovy nurse: Whoa...you're fucked.
Me: Huh?
GN: What kind of nurse do you want to be?
Me: I think hospice.
GN: No...you should be in the ER or the ICU.
Me: Huh?
GN: That is, IF you graduate...
Me: If?
GN: Yes, if...if you graduate. You're a Sagittarius and your Mercury is in Libra. You finish nothing, right?
Me: Hmmmm....
GN: You're flaky and irresponsible, right?
Me: Hmmmm....
GN: You'd rather have fun than accomplish tasks, right?
Me: Hmmmm....
GN: You'd rather stay home than work at all, right?
Me: Hmmmm....
GN: Your relationships fail because you get bored, right?
Me: Hmmmm....
GN: And even when you're IN a relationship, you're keeping your options open and looking around, right?
Me: Hmmmm....ok, that's not all true.
GN: Yes it is, but you keep telling yourself it's not.
Me: Ok, so what sign is good for me? How about Sagittarius?
GN: No...2 Sagittarians together get nothing done.
Me: Ok, well that's why I'm divorced, not in love with the violinist, and why St. Louis is the state of misery. How about Cancer?
GN: No no no! Water signs put out your fire. No Pisces, no Scorpio. You need a strong air sign...a Taurus...whose Venus is in Aries or Leo.
Me: (glazing over) Ok, I'll just start interviewing tomorrow...
So there it is. Then I send a text message to my friend who thinks I'm uncool and he invalidates the whole experience by saying, "You're too smart to believe that stuff, right?" Well no, I'm too smart to not at least consider it. And like I said, superstitious. So...
I'm not looking anyway...my mind is elsewhere and my heart has been stolen by some almost 9 year-olds. But if it ever happens for me again, I'll know whether it's possible or not as soon as I do his chart.
Quote of the week: "You mean my astronomical sign?" ---Dilan, at the stupid hospital training last week, when I asked her what her sign was...
posted by jill at 02:47
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