thoughts from an insomniac
I should be sound asleep since I have to get up and go into the hospital in 2 hours, but I'm wide awake despite getting 4 hours of sleep last night and being on campus for 12.5 hours today. Excellent. Didn't we learn today that if we are not mentally capable of taking care of patients, we should decline the duty? Didn't someone liken going into work when you're so tired you can't see to going in drunk? So really, Sheniqua, we might as well do shots before we go anywhere and just blame it on being tired. A blood alcohol level of .86? "I haven't been drinking, officer. I just haven't really slept in a week." So since I can't review anymore papers, absorb another NCLEX question, or ponder another presentation, I decided to google a friend from high school and see what she was up to. I didn't find her but I did find a guy I hung out with a lot who is now a famous jazz vocalist in New York City. You know what?
I am a slacker.
But, do I really need to be famous and successful when I'm making my own contribution to society by raising decent kids? And, do I need to be famous when I can still go sing karaoke with said kids and pretend we are The Partridge Family? And, do I really need to be famous when certain people believe I've made enough of an impact on their lives to give me my own special ringtone?
Like that's not meaning enough.
But today I learned that for some fucked up reason, the more people tell me how much I don't matter, the more I feel like telling them how much they do. (That's gotta be my mom's fault somehow. Or she of the star of c^#%'s.)
Anyway, on a lighter note, I thought I gave up the house, but I'm actually still in the running. I'll find out tomorrow.Thankfully, my all-time favorite ever Seinfeld episode is on, so who needs sleep anyway.
posted by jill at 22:22
6 Comments:
"But today I learned that for some fucked up reason, the more people tell me how much I don't matter, the more I feel like telling them how much they do."
Yeah,I get that alot, too. No matter what people do to hurt me, I still feel the need to tell them how much they mean to mean.
Not that it takes being hurt to make me open up to someone, it's just that that old saying about the grass being greener, or you onnly truly appreciate something once you've lost it, is really, really true. And crappy.
that should read "...mean to me." btw.
and mean to be mean, too.
some people are just mean, no matter what, right?
I never used to think so, but now I'm not sure. Maybe most peope don't mean to be mean intentonally.. it's just that the intentionaly do things that are mean.
i just saw the gorgeous pictures of the house and I'm so glad you're still in the running! I'm crossing my fingers and my toes for you.
you were drunk when you wrote that last comment, right colin?
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