18 August 2006

outrageosity

That is now a word; I just made it one. And Katie made "douchebaguerie." Unbelievably descriptive. And yesterday I told someone to "turn off the mean" and Katie says that's incredible and is going to start saying it all the time. Ok. Thanks for the flattery. Use it all you want, it's not copyrighted. (Hey, remember when I wrote "and then everything gets all fucked up" on a Patho exam? I don't why I just thought of that. But I digress...)

Anyway, here's not a blog per se but a list of outrageous things that people have said and done in the last few days. (And may I add that it is in an excellent format for those of you who may prefer my lists to block paragraphs, haikus, and phone calls.) Turning on the douchebaguerie. Here we go.

1. "I teach my kids that the right in religious means 'correct.' And the bible says that homosexuality is wrong, an abomination. That lifestyle is just against the laws of the bible. And I do not even want to hear about it." ---Lisa, the account administrator at Campfire, to me, as I was signing my kids up.

2. "I have 20,000 students to deal with! You think my job is easy?" ---Janet, the financial aid advisor, to Katie, when she inquired about her financial aid (obviously, she got nowhere).

3. It is 9:00 on Friday night and I just got a booty call. Fuck that. Call me when it's light out and invite me out for dinner. Don't expect me to come service you just cuz you're thinking about me. UGH.

4. One of the licensed nurses left me alone the other night to deal with a postpartum hemmorhage. I'm still having nightmares about that scene.

But, great conversation of the week:

(After our server con attitude at O'Niell's sat us last night...):

Me: Can we smoke in this section?
Server: Of course you can smoke! This is America, you can smoke anywhere you want! (Although, apparently we were in a non-smoking section cuz then she made us move to the other side of the patio and called our old table Communist China.)
Me and Katie: Cooooooooool.
Server: What do you want to drink?
Katie: Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
Me: Do you have any good wine?
Server: No. We have crap like Yellowtail.
Me: Yellowtail's all right.
Server: No, Yellowtail is shit. Let me bring you the beer list.

(You mighta had to be there...)

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure you were just asking out of curiosity, because you don't smoke anymore...right???

20 August, 2006 07:35  
Blogger jill said...

but of course not.

where the hell are my baby pictures?

21 August, 2006 00:05  

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