i have nothing to say but i haven't blogged in a week

See at the top right of your screen where it says "next blog?" Well, if you click on that, you'll get to check out some random person's blog. FYI...none of them are as funny as mine or Katie's. In case you were wondering.

Although the ILS instructor today was awesome, I'm sick of extern boot camp. I'm ready to start this damn job already. And I'm ready to go on vacation. 44 days til Florida, and I'm thinking of making that 3-day trip a week long.

Thais and I ate sushi the other night and she ordered this dragon roll. Can you believe that? What a work of art. Sadly, this picture does not do it justice, but we should go there again sometime just to see the sushi artist make it. (The eyes are octopus, the ears are cukes, the scales are roe and caviar...look closely.)

Zack had his last little game of the regular season tonight. I got to coach 3rd base (I'm really tan now). On his last at-bat I told him if he didn't hit Mikey home he'd be grounded for a month. Needless to say, he hit Mikey home, made the game leading RBI, and is not grounded. Nice.

Ok, hope you all are doing well. I realize I've seen (almost) no one lately but life's been crazy. Call me.

someone shoot me

So Nathan and I sat through the hospital's new employee orientation on Monday. I answered a question correctly and got a cool badge holder, and Nathan answered one correctly and got this styrofoam type guy who is gonna end up in the styrofoam type guy heaven (aka the already overflowing landfills). What the hell is its purpose? It's creepy too...I don't know if you can tell, but their teeth are really white and weird. Anyway, I think we should take him into the cleanroom and see if we can disintegrate him into absolutely nothing. Maybe we can patent that and clear out landfills. And become rich and famous.

Our instructor was Susana (pronounced Soo-SAH-nah...believe me I know, she loooved saying her name over and over) and she mighta been the spawn of Chucky. I kept waiting for her to break out her pom-poms and do a cheer for UNMH human resources or say something like, "we realize you have choices of hospitals in the area...thank you for choosing UNMH, and please fly with us again," as she pushed the tea and coffee cart down the aisle. Now I am having fantasies about cutting off her perky ponytail and shaving off her bangs in her sleep. Rah rah rah.

Yesterday we learned the difference between appropriate and inappropriate internet usage. Did you know that you're not supposed to look at porn on hospital computers? Perhaps someone needs to reiterate that to the OR employees. Today we learned how to read email. I wonder when they're gonna teach us all how to blog.

Quote of the orientation: "Do I need to separate you two?" ---Soo-SAH-nah, to Nathan and me. Oy.

Other quote of the orientation: "Wow, you got the status id badge." ---Nathan, on my code pink and invasive procedures capabilities.

Quote of the 19th century: "As if you could kill time without injuring eternity." ---Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Trivial piece of information I learned this week: My porn star name is Lady Banger. But that is so not trivial...

what am i gonna do when baseball season is over?

So I feel bad because I dissed the Newport puffer (see #2). Then her kid says to Zack and me today, "We were talking about you last night...about how all the kids on the team are bullies and the parents are really weird, but you guys are really normal and fun and Zack is the nicest kid around." Thank God, I'm doing something right.

So there. I officially have the coolest (and cutest, in my opinion) kid in the history of Mile High Little League. Damn. Today we played (and killed) the Marlins and I got to be the field umpire (which is not only good for tanning but you get to be on the field for the whole game). Damn. And the pitcher for the other team was...well...mmmmm. Damn. So I'm proud, tan, and heading into the cleanroom for the day to cool off. I guess like anything else, there are good fish and bad fish. But that fish... Damn.

Trivial piece of information I learned this week: My pirate name is Pirate Azriel the Fashionably Late.

nathan from work's 15 nanoseconds of fame

And someone saved my life tonight sugar bear

There was this clock...and it was crooked...and it was gonna ruin my day. All you gotta say to Nathan is, "that's gonna ruin my day" and he's all over it. Thank you...

Quote of the day: "Hello sweet thing." ---one of the professors at work. I gotta come to work more often.

check this out

Look at all that gray...pathetic. I gotta get my ass to the Dakotas. Maybe my next map will be states where I've been arrested. Hmmmm...



create your own personalized map of the USA

peaking

So Colin, Ursy, Jerry, and I went up to the crest today to enjoy the sunshine, the smell of the pine trees, and getting out of town before our jobs start Monday. Unfortunately Colin's allergies were so bad he couldn't smell the pine trees, but I assured him it was awesome. We talked about our O2 sats, our PCO2 and PO2 levels, and what was happening with our hemoglobin and hematocrit levels at 11,000 feet. Sick. We also learned that yes, bears DO shit in the woods. Ursy enjoyed eating grass, chasing sticks, and drinking water out of my Camelbak, and then she threw up before getting into Colin's car. (Good girl, Louie.)

Voicemail message of the year: "Hey Jilly, it's me...um...speaking of you know, whatever, leaving you a message...you have a hot voice...I think you should like in your spare time like run a nursing school like phone sex line where like guys can talk to prospective nurses cuz they probably get off on that and you can be like, "hey boy" or "hey girls" or whoever calls...anyway... ---Shenoa...wow, thanks. I need employees for that, right? Anyone?

i have padre fever

No I can't recall any love at all
Baby this blows 'em all away
It's got what it takes
So tell me why can't this be love

I swear I'm in old music hell. I just heard that song in the car after baseball and then I heard a song by Outfield. And today I heard not one but TWO Andy Gibb songs. Oy.

Speaking of baseball, tonight we played the Mets. They're a cool bunch of kids, nice coaches, kinda some emotional heartache on their team, and best of all, they got three groovy girls! Plus, I got to coach 3rd base; therefore, I did not have to sit in the bleachers with all the um... rejects is a really harsh word but another description escapes me at the moment. Anyway, go Zack. He's got it going on.

Colin says the quote of the day is: "At least make them black and mean so there's some diversity..." ---moi, when I was talking about the school my kids go to in the hetero heights over coffee today...

I say the quote of the day is: "Have you ever played 16 inch?" ---Colin...ummm, no, but...

license to mother?

I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are

Zack and I are hanging out listening to our new iPod. He's singing Shiver at the top of his lungs but I'm not sure he knows how loud he really is.

The Padres almost kicked some Yankee azz tonight but the Yanks came back in the bottom of the 6th (aka the end) and won by 1 run. Too bad. My little centerfielder was awesome. A few annoying things happened at the game however:

1) A little princess-y glam queen who is all of 6 years old (I swear that kid wears make-up and is always dressed like a movie star) was running around saying, "Do I look fat? Do you think I'm fat?" Good, glam queen mom, start her off at 6 worrying about her weight, and make sure she's anorexic, bulemic, or dead by the time she's 16.

2) Is it just Albuquerque or is the whole world notorious for completely trashy women at little league games (except me, of course)? One of the moms on the team holds her toddler in her lap in the bleachers while she's puffing away on her Newports and I'm always afraid she's gonna singe her kid's hair or light her clothes on fire. That's just wrong.

3) There's a mom of one of Zack's teammates who is a med tech at a plastic surgery clinic somewhere here, maybe Pres...she's got the full on perm (do people still really get perms?), the red french manicure on her fingers and toes, and probably owns stock in the Lancome counter at Macy's. She's basically the anti-Jill. So we're chatting (cuz you know I can talk to anyone, even when I abhor them):

Med Tech Mom: I'm having Dominic's ears done.
Me: You're what?
MTM: I'm having his ears done.
Me: You mean pierced?
MTM: No. Clipped. Pegged.
Me: Like they do to pit bulls?
MTM: Well kind of...see how they stick out?
Me: He's pretty cute with those ears.
MTM: He could be cuter.

I swear, I live in New Jersey. I think my name is Earl.

call your mother

You know you're a mother of 8 year olds when the only kind of cereal left in the cupboard to add to your yogurt in the morning is Clifford Crunch. It's actually really good, but still - cereal in the shape of bones and fish that comes in a box with a picture of a big red dog should be eaten status post bong hits, no?

Don't forget to call your mom this weekend (if you can). And if you can't, feel free to call mine.

a few corrections...

I guess I should fact-check before I post.

1) The spoiler wasn't meant to be a gloat, just an alert. Thank you for the alert. Now I can give up American Idol and go back to being a person not making plans around television shows and watching only Seinfeld reruns and 2 more episodes of ER.

2) I did not get fired from my job! I get to stay because UNM is separate from UNMH. Very fine.

Chris is doing a presentation on coaxial aperture arrays as I type this. I told him I would blog about it, but I have no idea what the hell it is. Hope it went well. If nothing else, at least you look cool.

circadian arrhythmia

Ok, so my favorite guy got voted off of American Idol tonight. Zack and Michaela and I were bummed for like 30 seconds. I wasn't surprised, though; living in New Mexico, we get spoilers from people who live in other time zones and get to see it first and then send us emails that warn us and silently rub it in that our favorite idol is gone and theirs is still there. The annoying, off-pitch girlie girl is next. She should have been gone in January.

You know...someone in Hollywood needs to turn my blahg into a reality tv show. Like we aren't as cool and the gang as those asses on Real World.

Thank god school is done for the summer. Now I can catch up on all the books and movies and quilting and playing music and hanging with the 8 year-olds and sleeping that I've been missing out on since January. If anyone goes anywhere cool this summer, please send a postcard.

Ok, it's the return of the blog log so I can keep track of what I'm looking forward to:
Days til Bruce Springsteen in Phoenix: 23
Days til my dad visits: 46
Days til the rest of my family comes: 56
How much alcohol I'm gonna need for that: a metric assload
Days til I go to Florida: 63
Days til the (potential) CSNY concert also in Phoenix: 70
Days til my babes turn 9: 90
Wind gusts in Albuquerque yesterday: 60 mph
How much dust is in my car after that wind storm: about 5 pounds
How many hours I slept today between 3:00 pm and midnight: about 7, which is why I can't sleep now...

get the paddles

Quote of the morning: "Are we ALL CLEAR on code management?" ---Katie

shop, jojo, shop

Hey Colin...when we are done with finals, we must go to Grandma's music and buy inexpensive guitars to keep in our cars so that if we ever get the urge to pretend we are Jerry Garcia and Bob Weir while studying at Winnings again, we don't have to just write out chords on paper and look at each other longingly, while sharing a french press of coffee and headphones. (Btw...that second Am...above "wind"...should be A7...if you wanna play it like Jerry.)

Ok, I'm pretty sure I am 36 multiple choice questions away from being a J-3. And I think I passed my drug test. And I think I got fired from CHTM today, but it's not really official yet. And I am having a really hard time focusing on ABGs and ECGs and TPN and CVCs and ABCs and UNM and the BBC and any other 3 letters you wanna put together...

fish, jojo, fish

The bi-weekly sushi binge was fun! I will go back to the place with "all you can eat ass" as soon as they add our rolls to the menu:

The Red Panda (Colin's roll)
Unagi with spicy scallop and rice

The BAMF (Adriana's roll)
Mango, papaya, and salmon dusted with cocoa leaves

The Craptasstic (Katie's roll)
Cheese, salsa, ketchup, and rice

The Roots Roll (Nathan's roll)
Blackened (aka carcinogenic) ganja leaf with unagi, spicy tuna, and magic

And my personal favorite, the Jillfilte roll (duh)
Gefilte fish wrapped in rice coated in matzo

I'm not sure I'm eating any of them except mine and the badass mother fucker roll since last time I ate ganj 13 years ago I thought I was gonna die and cheese and ketchup...I don't know, but I'll consider Colin's if I can extract the eel.

I'm going back to bed now.

quote of the morning...

"And your name, my friend, is Mr-cut-the-fuck-off." (Insert mad dolphin noise here). ---Adriana, after the dud told her she had love handles.

self-portrait of a twin

Ok artistes...feel free to interpret my daughter...

oh wait...one quick obituary

RIP Hepatomegaly. It seems as though for some reason all the other fish in the fishtank attacked the liver and then went in for the kill. And now all that's left of him in the bottom of the fish tank is osseocartilaginous remnants. Fish apparently aren't friends as previously thought. Carry on with bi-weekly sushi binges and Friday night fish fries. Pass the malt vinegar and the tamari please...

a real hiatus

I'll be back when finals are over. I have nothing to say anyway except compartment syndrome and FES must suck, I'm glad I never broke my femur, and I can't believe I have to give a 20 minute presentation on Friday.

Wish me luck on my drug test tomorrow...

Good luck on finals everyone...and if you don't have finals, send reinforcements.

OUT

It is only 9:20 and I already want to blog mommie dearest. I guess it is an hour later there so she's got time to think about how she's gonna piss me off before my alarm goes off. Next time I move it's gonna be out of the continental United States.

Quote of the morning: "In first grade, our subjects were spelling, reading, math, and learning to spell Albuquerque." ---Zack

random stuff cuz i can't sleep

Tonight Adriana and Katie and I sat outside in the beautiful weather and Adriana read our palms. I learned all kinds of cool shit about myself. Then on the way home I couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like to have a Doogie Howser type wonder doctor at UNMH. Now he's on tv and he looks really old. Weird.

Quote of the other day: "The only people who hit on me are in diapers, four-point restraints, or on an ativan drip for ETOH withdrawal." ---Adriana

Quote of today: "Your kids are blonde and cute, which brings up the question of adoption." Damn.