1 down, ? to go

Rodent #1 has been captured! Last night Zack woke up to pee at like 3 in the morning and there it was, just hanging out on the rug in the bathroom like he owns the place. He woke up his dad (good boy)(I mean, waking me up for anything except mice in the bathroom is totally ok) and they captured it, took it outside, and let it go free in some rocks. And the traps are still empty, so maybe...

That mouse claimed behind the microwave as his home and stashed stuff...a string, a jalapeno pretzel, some other crumbs. Apparently he was living high on the hog here, cuz he was too big to run away. I say that mouse can come back and live here either when he starts paying room and board or over my dead body.

Now I must go bathe.

fuck update

Operation rodent storm has begun. The traps have just been set. And Ursy has been camped out by the dishwasher for about 2 hours, and that is NOT her regular spot to hang out. Everything has gone awry at my house.

fuck

Exhusband tell Roger you are sick and need to come home NOW. Come on. I know you're reading this. I love how I call you at work and you're all blase about this...but until you deal with this emergency I am not setting foot in the kitchen for more than 5 seconds to run through it. And I'll be wearing steel-toed boots. Which means our poor children will not eat or drink. No one is leaving the house this weekend (well, that would be you, actually) until you lure that motherfucker out with a tasty treat and snap it's fucking body in half.

I am cool about a lot of stuff, but I draw the line at a mouse. I wonder if our last experience with mice and traps is causing bad mouse karma?

Last time I had a mouse exhub came over late at night and rescued us from it (that was really nice of you, btw. Thanks.)...but then the next day we realized there were more mice. He set some traps and then he came over and checked them a couple times throughout the day. So then he calls me at work in tears...IN TEARS...to let me know he'd caught the mouse, but that the babies it had in my bathroom drawer were soooooo cute. Blah blah blah cute my ass. Cry at the kids' first band concert. Cry at Hallmark ads. Cry when your ex mother-in-law comes to visit. But NO getting attached to these mice. THEY ARE NOT PETS. THEY ARE THE DEVIL.

I'm leaving the house now. But I will look forward to later when you come home and we can all sit around a campfire and sing "3 Dead Mice" to the tune of "3 Blind Mice."

Katie says, "Its the only thing besides picturing a circus family whenever Jan says "launching children" that keeps me on the good side of the Glasgow Scale."

Ok, do you really think that in Family Systems, the "good side" of the Glasgow Scale is that you open your eyes spontaneously and can actually feel pain? I'm thinking the good side would be disoriented or in a coma during that class. I love Jan, but I'd rather swim with her than go to these lectures.

Hey, the Glasgow Coma Scale can be interpreted in many ways. Obviously. Oh and if you can put that poem to music, I'll buy you dinner. (That poem made me laugh just now. And I'm going to start calling Ramatou "Mamatou.")

Quote of the day: I can't blog it. But it was memorable, and would be good advice if said classmate would listen to me. I guess it's really only a matter of time before I tell her myself.

Oh crazy, for thinkin that my love could hold you,
I'm crazy for tryin and crazy for cryin,
And I'm crazy for lovin you.

After several Jack and Diet Cokes and a nursey girlband rendition of I Love Rock and Roll, I sang this song at karaoke tonight. Very fun. Now I must pass out.

life imitates art

Last night we had weird patients...from a 17 year-old mom of boy-girl twins who fell asleep while talking to you and asked everyone to just stand by the babies' cribs and make them not cry to a 500-lb. woman who had just delivered her 7th baby yet couldn't really maneuver around her room. While the people aren't as beautiful (and I have a hard time thinking about who's sleeping with whom), work really is often a lot like an episode of ER or Grey's Anatomy.

go blow

Ugh.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/teams/wisc/

happy birthday, mom

Enough said about my mom. Oh, and l'shana tova. That would be a happy new year.

How cool is the sky in New Mexico? This was yesterday, on my way to get the kids. And you all think I'm crazy that I take pictures with my phone while driving 60 mph.

So we got our clinical rotations for acute care in writing... has anyone noticed that we are all in different clinical groups? And for the first time I'm not with Adriana. But I'm with Andra. But it's oncology. But it's Andra.

Seriously, the 2nd 8 weeks of this semester are going to be more useful than the first. I just know it.

Hope everyone is well.

Quote of the day: "Come on, people are hollow, man...bunnies can be, too." ---Kathryn, who I work with, when i told her i was going to replace someone with chocolate, and she replied that a hollow bunny would be ok.

God, so true...

there are antelope in cimarron

Tonight at fall ball we played the Atoms, an Isotopes farm team. This little kid was so cute, and we got to chat about grasshoppers and American Idol while he played (and I coached) third base. Unfortunately for the atoms, we killed them. Only 1 month left of rookie baseball and then Zack goes to the minors and Michaela goes to softball.

Zack played great...he got 2 hits, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, and fielded like a pro in the outfield and the infield. The coach usually gives the game ball at practice after the game, but tonight he made an exception and gave it to Zack. He was beaming with pride. (So was I.)

And of course, the night ended with a beautiful sunset...a peaceful ending to a nice evening.

By the way, I didn't talk like a pirate once today. Arrgghhh.

felice anniversario

Today is my dad and stepmom's 25th wedding anniversary. Also, one of the charge nurses at work celebrates 10 years with her husband. And another friend mentioned last year the date was his anniversary as well.

I was gonna post a picture of what I actually looked like at my dad's wedding...it's very funny...the barrette/ribbon thing was so in. It was on Lake Michigan. I got a million mosquito bites and the priest who married them (with my grandfather the rabbi) made sure my sister and I weren't ever without a glass of champagne. I was 12.

My dad and stepmom are the weirdest, most unlikely couple. But they are so totally and completely in love with each other, it's hard to fault them for being weird. They are just all chill and happy and 25 years ago they threw all caution to the wind and said fuck everyone else...we're doing this cuz we love each other. Pretty admirable. Obviously I didn't get it when I was 12, but I get it now, and would sure rather have one parent blissful than both parents bitter.

Anyway, they don't get to read my blog cuz I say "fuck" too much and like I'd tell my dad anything about punishment. But, I hope they're having fun in Italy, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they bring me back jewelry and Grappa.

Coming in November...the 25th anniversary of my Bat Mitzvah, where I got my first real kiss. Blogerotica.

hey mikey, he likes it

Pop life, everybody needs a thrill
Pop life,we all got a space 2 fill
Pop life, everybody cant be on top
But life it aint real funky
Unless its got that pop

Today I hung out with my co-worker Ari and some of her friends at the coffee shop and everyone was just staring at her cleavage all day, so here y'all go. Anyway, during our intriguing conversation about the mysterious species of men and the politics of nursing, a friend of hers showed up, expressed her excitement about the surprise in her pocket, and pulled out a bunch of Pop Rocks.

Ok. I know my life hasn't been completely exciting lately, but Pop Rocks turned that around immediately. We ate Pop Rocks and drank Dr. Pepper at the same time and it really was like an explosion in my mouth. (Shhhh. Dirty, Katie.) Anyway, very fun, cool people, and definitely not a waste of time or a regret that I should have been studying instead of sitting in the sun at the coffee shop for hours.

For your information, tomorrow happens to be National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Apparently one of the Lovelace Labor and Delivery charge nurses dresses like a pirate every year and says things like, "Arrgggghhh. When will that baby come out?" Hopefully she's not pulling babies out with a hook.

It is unreal. At the end of my otherwise uneventful day, not only did I have Pop Rocks, but my favorite ever EVER Seinfeld just came on.

See? My blog is full of interesting and quite useful information. For all you nay-sayers.

Quote of the day: "Men are fucking assholes." ---some random guy walking through a parking lot, overhearing 5 seconds of mine and Katie's conversation, yet figuring out exactly what we were talking about, and not missing a beat. Talk about a Seinfeld episode...

a quotable day

I am famous. I got not 1 but 2 quotes of the day on Katie's blog.

"Ambiguity is a man's best friend."

-Jill, sitting outside the Guild.


"It's not even that there are rules per se, its more a guild. Oh, look, we are outside The Guild. So, if he Starbuck's you tell him to fuck Arby's."

-Jill, sitting on the curb outside of The Guild, across the street from Starbuck's and Arby's.

Very cool. Someone thinks things I say are memorable. Thanks, KT.

isn't a pack of wolves stronger than a bunch of cats?

Ok fine so the Lobos got beat
But only because the Tigers cheat

only in the land of enchantment...

How fucked up is this?

Oh and I don't usually care about college football if it isn't the Badgers, but go Lobos.

everything and its opposite

Besides being an intern and a facilitator of foreign policy discussions on my blog, I live a double life as a mom of 9 year-olds. Right now, Zack is practicing his trumpet (loudly)(and screechily)(and badly)(but getting better) but I still like him. A lot.

On the way home from school, Michaela told me that this kid in her class wrote the "f word" on her art smock with a purple oil pastel and got in lots of trouble. And Zack heard about the whole thing out on the playground from one of Michaela's classmates.

Me: Did he get busted?
Michaela: Yes, he had to go to the prinipal's office.
Zack: Ooooohhhh yeah I heard that.
Michaela: Fortunately, that ill-behaved boy has been instructed to not act that way in the future.
Zack: Boooooooo yeeeaaahhhhh.

I can't believe they came from the same womb.

peace not war

When I was driving home tonight I was thinking about how small and sparse Albuquerque must be compared to New York City...how I spend a lot of time in (and have gotten lost in) a 7-story hospital that sometimes seems so big. I can't even fathom 110 stories...I mean, I grew up in Milwaukee where the tallest building was 42 stories. I guess I visited the Sears Tower in Chicago when I was a kid, but everything seems huge when you're 10. And I can say for sure that if a building fell on or around 5th and Market in San Francisco, it would be devastating.

Today I read an article about how people are blaming the terrorist attacks on Bill Clinton's preoccupation with his potential impeachment and the cigar afficionada intern...that had he actually been present while leading our country, this might not have happened. Except for adamantly believing in the rights of women (come on...women should be able to play on men's soccer teams) and minorities, I'm not very political, so I can't intellectually argue who was at fault. But I'd hate to feel responsible for the events of 9/11, and I imagine it's hard for Bill to fall asleep.

In Judaism it is custom to light candles and say this prayer, the mourner's kaddish, on the anniversary of the death of a loved one. It's the least I can do to honor those who died. Thankfully, I didn't directly lose anyone in the terrorist attacks, but my heart goes out to people who did lose friends or loved ones or precious, irreplaceable belongings or some sense of security, or all of the above in just a few hours.

oh my god that fucking hurts

A few things about labor pain...

My mother is not a nonpharmacologic pain tool.
Yes, labor hurts that much.
Screaming is effective.
That guy in that movie ("It's almost ovuh") should have been shot.
Listening to this Damien Rice song is almost as painful as labor but not quite.
The guy working at the coffee shop is shooting rubber bands at me, and that is less painful than labor.

An ativan drip would help my test anxiety.

i saw you...

So today I cleaned and I found Zack and Kaela's birth announcement. They didn't believe me that those were their footprints when they were born. Then they stood next to them so we could all see how much they've grown. Trippy.

I also found the "I saw you's" from how many semesters ago? 3? Anyway, Katie requested that I post them to the blog, and I agreed, except that I really don't want to offend anyone so I'm going to use blanks for certain words. (Katie and I have no boundaries when it's just the two of us, obviously.)

For those of you who have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, there is a section in the Alibi called "I saw you..." where people write in looking for other people. They are very entertaining, so we wrote a few of our own.

Ok, here we go:

1. I saw you at the Smith's on Tramway. You were buying 4 lbs. of steak and KY Jelly. I wanted to talk to you. Call me.

2. I saw you at Flying Star. You were wearing a red shirt and had toilet paper stuck to your shoe. I wanted to tell you. Call me.

3. I saw you at Winnings. I was talking about transference and anal sex, you were licking sour cream off of your fingers. Call me. (That one really happened...I actually met someone cuz of that exact scenario. Where the hell is Charlie these days anyway?)

4. I saw you at the duck pond. You were picking your nose and eating it. I still wanted to kiss you. Call me. (What the hell were we thinking, KT?)

5. I saw you...you were buying a rosary...ok, censored...email me if you want the rest.

Quote of the day: "Mommy, how does someone become comfortably numb?" ---Zack, while watching a Pink Floyd concert with me.

Other quote of the day: "Hang on...I'm having a flashback." ---my exhusband, when he came in my room where we were watching the concert.