shavey!

Ursy got an all-over Brazilian today. I've never known anyone who had such a hairy butt - I swear, she had dreds. When a guy at the dog park this morning was singing Bob Marley songs to her, she went from Rastafarian to military girl in about 45 minutes.

She is much happier now. And about 20 pounds lighter.

71 to 80

71. having those dreams where you can't see and you can't move and you can't dial your phone and you have to pee and you're late for an exam
72. "Snakes on a Plane"
73. that fake wrestling crap
74. people who throw things from highway overpasses at oncoming cars
75. I've gotta be smarter than a 5th grader
76. the Domenici Building
77. people who play mind games
78. I used Michaela's Herbal Essence shampoo in the shower this morning but did not have the same experience that they have on those commercials
79. I wasted a lot of time thinking I hated green chili, mushrooms, and wasabi
80. Kermit doing grunge

4 great pictures

my fave Madtown house (thanks KT)


eating grapefruit in bed


I am not original...that is Charlize Theron


where I spent my childhood summers...camp in Eagle River, Wisconsin

death by shower

So this recurring theme of seeing things that may or may not really be there is really freaking me out.

First, there was the Virgin Mary in the house fire. Then, there was the Jesus bloodstain on the band-aid. Then, of course, there was me in the Med/Surg book. Which of course was so cool.

Then recently, there was the Virgin Mary AGAIN, but this time in a pizza pan. On Ash Wednesday, no less.

There is this weird shower curtain in my bathroom, and in the midst of the sponge painted blobs (done not by me), eerily, is the grim reaper.

Fucking awesome. But if I get slashed in my shower a la Janet Leigh in Psycho, we know who the culprit is.

the parallel blog

Colin, your blogs are way too thoughtful for me. Tell me something...when you figure out all that shit about pricking yourself and picking up the pieces and then blog it, is it just theory or is it really already in practice?

Life does not get all figured out like at the end of "House."

Here I am all stressed out about school and clinical hours, and yesterday I heard that in the honors class they all sit around and compare their GPAs. But how does one celebrate their 4+ GPA if they've cheated their way through school, not earned it?

In the last few days I've been accused of all kinds of crap, including some stuff by the aforementioned GPA stealer. Thank god I have this cold and therefore an excuse to slip away under the sheets with Prince NyQuil, or I'd have been sleepless in the Northeast Heights.

You should move to Connecticut if you love cold weather and LL Bean catalogs. You could go skiing in Vermont and then go hang in NYC and see Broadway shows. You can be a nurse anywhere. And sometimes moving across the country and leaving life and love behind is cleansing and worthwhile.

But remember...wherever you go, there you are.

2.1

Brenda is so fucking cool. She just got the nurse of the year award. The Mother and Baby Unit will be sending her and her family on an Alaskan cruise, providing her with a brand new car, and giving her a check for $30,000.

We are all very proud of Brenda. Congratulations. And nice job on that bilirubin.

UNLV 74, Wisconsin 68

From Postsecret... It looks as though I am not the only one who makes ridiculous bets based on college basketball championship games.

desert dogs

Apparently the dogs didn't eat enough sticks and cacti in the mountains today...






...so they decided to eat Michaela instead.

Quote(s) of the month

"Put out a wide nut..." ---Katie
"...get a big bush." ---Colin

letting it breathe

Some light and breezy random thoughts...

Good news! The Vietnamese restaurant right by my house not only plays Vietnamese-like Muzak versions of all your favorite hits and has gold-plated 1970s art on the walls, they also now serve sushi. Yum.

The Mets suck. If the Wisconsin Badgers basketball team played the Mets a game of good old American baseball, the Badgers would kill them. And I would be there, NOT eating New York style pizza (whatever the hell that is), New York cheesecake, or authentic deli from Queens. No. I'd be wearing red and white, eating brats and cheese, and drinking beer.

For you American Idolizers...I'm really pulling for Sanjaya. I mean, he was the underdog, but the fact that he has shown his incredible range and unwavering talent, has managed to remain in the top 10, and makes young girls cry just by existing proves that he is by far the only contestant who deserves to win.

According to this website (see bullet #5), my dog is smarter than your dog, unless you have a Border Collie as well. Just FYI.

Quote of the other day (per Katie): "He has expensive taste." ---me, after she told me Boots ate $60. Ursy has never eaten money, but she did eat an entire couch once and 2 or 3 papason chairs.

Quote of the day today: "My-heart-beat-is-that-of-an-unborn-baby." ---Katie, after a neb treatment for a bronchitis-induced asthma attack. It sounded funny on my voicemail, but now that I look at it in writing, it potentially brings up the abortion issue. However, this is light and breezy, so we'll stick with its non-inflammatory meaning.

Early this morning one of our patients died. He'd been screaming in pain for a few days and nothing was controlling it, so I have to assume he is in a better place. One of the nurses was saying that people's death experience often reflects their life experience...like if they've had a rough life they're probably gonna have a rough death, or maybe have a lot to face before they're at peace with it.

Makes me think of like when you're falling asleep and you keep having weird little dreams and then you wake up from them. I wonder if it's like that...like you're trying to go to the other side but things are haunting and scary and keep you from comfortably and peacefully going.

So maybe this is what my grandfather was talking about.

But it is really weird to be hanging out with someone, answering their call light, giving them medication, and talking with their family for a few weeks and then all of the sudden they're dead. And I'm just at home watching American Idol and hanging out with the 9 year-olds like nothing has changed.

Anyway...

a gary memory

Right after I met Gary he gave me a valentine and Karen Ellsworth asked if she could keep it cuz it was signed "love, Gary." I just thought of that cuz I was reading about Harvey Keitel after I put "Reservoir Dogs" in my Netflix queue. I don't see the resemblance; He's much better looking. But was she from New Jersey?

She loooooooved you. Like, couldn't talk to you loved you.

I wish Gail read my blog.

this is actually blogworthy

This is so heartwarming. It's the kind of stuff I live for.

the blog is ending soon

But first...

Quote of the day: "I wouldn't have you on speed dial if you weren't a fantastic person." ---Radha, when I said I sucked.

Here are Michele and Zoe with the thousand cranes...

here you go, katie

In response to, "I am so excited about the 3 hour open bar!!!! If I had taken Mr. Wo's gosh darn class I would adobe craprobat a boozy beverage into the paw of Reggie Regent." ---Katie

I can't figure out how the hell to draw an olive though.

the blog log, in its original form

Days of school left: 35
How many days til I can start working full-time finally: 38
Clinical hours left: 79
How many times Katie said "come on baby" during the game today: about 50
How much beer helps when your team loses anyway: a little bit
How many mean-spirited comments I've received on my blog so far: 2
How many people I suspect might be writing them: 1
How many I deleted: 2
How many days til graduation: 53
How many of my parents are coming to NM to celebrate: 2.5, but not all at the same time
How many of my all-time favorite kids 10 and under are coming to graduation: 6
How many days til the Indigo Girls concert: 59

the blog log...copyright 2005, all rights reserved, must ask permission to use the blog log.

an open letter to a whole bunch of people

To the person Katie and I saw at the coffee shop today who shall remain nameless...joking about it dragging while you walk is neither funny nor charming. Ugh.

To the so unbelievably cute checker at Wild Oats who is from Wisconsin...yes, I stand in your line no matter how long it is so you will ring me up. Yes, I would love to drink beer with you and watch football and it wouldn't matter if the Packers got slaughtered.

To exhub...the house smelled like dirty feet when I left for work. I hope the corned beef and cabbage doesn't taste like them, too.

To the asshole who is anonymously posting rude comments to my blog...so not nice. Didn't your mother ever teach you if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all? Try living that. I blog for fun, not for criticism. But if you're gonna leave asshole comments, at least leave your name. Chicken.

To the Badgers...please do not lose tomorrow or I have to go to medical school. Please, please win so I win the bet. I cannot afford anymore school right now and I am out of steam.

To Katie...thanks for a weird but great afternoon.

this strikes a cord

So I'm sitting here thinking about graduation and how we all chose to justify our credentials simply with a cap and gown and who really needs cords anyway. Right? Wrong. Some of our classmates might have like 4 cords if they joined all those honors societies that we decided not to invest in. But I think we should get cords for other things. I mean, it's not like 6 credit hours of honors classes with PJ Woods or lunches in 257 with SNA woulda made us better students. Here are some possibilities. (Please note, they do not all apply to me...just thinking of all of our wonderful yet average classmates, including me.)

the I got almost all A's cord
the I never skipped class cord
the I don't live with my parents cord
the I have kids cord
the I have a job cord
the I went through a break-up during school cord
the I had a baby during school cord
the I almost had a baby during school cord
the I knitted every day during class cord
the I never wore a bra to class cord
the I shopped on the internet during class cord
the I played internet games during class cord
the I threw candy at my classmate's head cord (I didn't mean to)
the I never cheated off anyone else's test cord
the I always parked illegally and never got a ticket cord
the I sometimes came to class stoned cord
the I said fuck during class whenever I could fit it in cord
the I wore my pajamas to school cord
the I wore clothes so tight I now have circulatory problems cord
the I never once spoke in class cord
the I never shut the hell up in class cord
the I always remember to turn off my ringer cord
the I never got yelled at by a professor cord
the I passed the HESI cord
the I didn't fail out of school cord
the I always wore what I was supposed to when I went to clinicals cord
the I had Jenny Vacek and lived to tell about it cord
the I never slept through class cord

The possibilities are endless, but we should all be recognized for the things we did to get through school.

I'm gonna make my own cords and wear them at graduation. You guys just let me know which ones you want and I'll make them for you, too.

Quote of the day: "Oh my god his kids are obsessed with ringtones." ---Katie.

putting the hoop back into whoop

March Madness has begun. Go big red.

pi day

So yesterday when I picked up the 9 year-olds Michaela informed me she needed to stop and buy cookies "for the party tomorrow." I'm like...what party? And she said, "Don't you know, Mommy? It's Pi Day."

Well, thank goodness I'd talked to a friend earlier in the week about it cuz apparently I was the last to know that such a holiday existed (even being a math major way back when) and I'd probably still be in the dark if he hadn't told me. Anyway, she picked out powdered donuts (sorry, Shenoa, they make me wanna eat your cat).

Now it's officially 3/14 and I'm looking around checking out all the round things that I need to be celebrating. The ginger snaps in the breakroom are round. So are the little medicine cups (and the cups, bottles, and glasses everyone's gonna be drinking out of later to celebrate this alcoholiday). The elevator buttons...wow. I'm going to celebrate elevator buttons. The headlights on my car are round. Actually, so is Saturn. And my eyeballs. And basketballs (oh god...I need to go pick up those suckers). Anyway...

I realize that mathletes are brilliant people who figure out equations and stuff that they then apply to time and space and weather and nursing and everything. But a holiday to celebrate what I multiply by the radius squared to get the area of a circle?

Are you fucking kidding me?

I remember taking differential equations and applied linear algebra my sophomore year in college, and I wanted to kill myself. I kept saying to my (then) boyfriend, "When the fuck am I EVER going to use this shit again?" And he, being an engineering geek, proudly rattled off every little thing in life that he could apply this crap to. No wonder he's a successful engineer and I'm still in school for 40 more days. (And then there was some dumbass kid in my chemistry class who had memorized like the first 200 digits of pi or something like that.)

But fuck that. There's no way in hell I'm celebrating a holiday for pi, for math, or for circles. No way.

Last night's Seinfeld was the one with the cakes...everyone kept bringing cake to celebrate everything and Elaine was so annoyed. (Then she wanted cake but couldn't tell her co-workers cuz they all thought she was a party pooper so she ate Peterman's wedding cake that was worth $25,000 and was 60 years old.) That's kinda how I feel about Pi Day.

Anyway...

Quote of last week: "Without geometry, life is pointless." Well apparently without cake, geometry is pointless as well.

At least tomorrow is a real holiday. You just watch...everyone's gonna be dressed in togas, eating Caeser salad, calling each other Brutus and Cassius, and threatening to kill potential kings. Now THAT is something to celebrate.

cry me a river

So Colin recently wrote a blog that prompted readers to comment on things that make us cry (well, and diss him a little). Fictional and seemingly ridiculous things seem to top our lists (well, his anyway). (By the way, Colin, exhub is right there with you and the "Babe" thing.)

Then I stumbled upon this on the internet and it made me realize that I'm not the only wuss around that finds these things lump in the throat inducing.

Ok, here are the top 10 things that make me cry. Like, sob my eyes out...creating gargantuan piles of wadded kleenex and bright red puffy eyes.

10. The coffee commercial...the one where the parents are asleep upstairs and the son comes home from the military, quietly goes into the kitchen, and starts brewing a pot of really crappy coffee like Folgers or Maxwell House or something and his mom wakes up, smells it, realizes he's home, and runs downstairs calling his name.

9. The movie "Lost and Delirious." It's Brokeback for girls but better.

8. "Ice Age." Have you guys seen it? At the end where the baby is waving goodbye to Diego? Oh my god.

7. Whenever I hear Fire and Rain, Beautiful, or Wonderful Tonight. Those will never be karaoke songs.

6. I watch Oprah really infrequently, but when they have those stories on there...the ones about people who have had horrible things happen to them and then someone shows up to fix it all...

5. The last episode of "Sex and the City." Big shows up in Paris and rescues Carrie from her pathetic boyfriend and tells her, "it's you...it's always been you." 6 seasons of heartbreak, and it's all wrapped up perfectly in the end.

4. When Dorothy has to say goodbye to the Scarecrow. There's always something in my eye...

3. Any footage from 9/11, especially when I think about what people went through, even if they have no meaning to me or impact on my life.

2. When Debra Winger's character in "Terms of Endearment" is saying goodbye to her kids, when Barbara Hershey's character in "Beaches" dies and leaves behind her kid, when Ali McGraw's character in "Love Story" dies and leaves behind the love of her life...you get the idea.

1. The end of "Homeward Bound," the sappiest Disney movie ever made, a remake of the Incredible Journey. When the forlorn kids are all outside moping and one by one their animals return...I can handle Sassy and Chance. But when Shadow shows up limping from being injured and we thought he had died? Fuck.

it's tucker time

The Badgers are still kicking ass.

I'm ready for the brackets.

If I could think of something that rhymed with Fightin' Illini, I'd write poem about today's game...

Onward Badgers.

hypocritamous

Trouble came around here
Here in the south we fix something to eat
Steam risin up off the greenery
And we welcome the strangers we meet

Tonight I attended a soiree at Yanni's in honor of my expreceptor. Apparently she did amazing things for one of the VA clinics in an interim capacity and they wanted to celebrate her achievements with chicken souvlaki, spanikopita, and dolmas. It was fine...very cool doctors, nurse practitioners, and nurses. But in the middle of dinner the conversation turned to, of all things, her Southern Baptist church. And it went something like:

Expreceptor: Everyone is welcome to come to my church and visit.
One cool (hot) doctor: Well, is it kid friendly? I'd like to bring my kids.
XP: Of course it's kid friendly! It's "everyone" friendly.
OCHD: Well, is your church tolerant of all types of lifestyles?
XP: No. We are accepting of all types of religions and races, but definitely not all types of lifestyles.
OCHD (very diplomatically): Well, I'm not interested in my children becoming intolerant. I've worked too hard to teach them tolerance.
Me (pretending to be clueless, to XP): What do you do if you're gay?
XP: You don't come. It's a sin, God dammit.
Me: You just took God's name in vain. That's a sin, too.
XP (with a big, loud cackly laugh): God dammit then, I'm goin to hell!

Fuck that bullshit. Pick...either be "perfect" as you say everyone else should be and earn the right to cast stones or keep your mouth shut, live and let live, and leave the stones where they are.

I gotta get the hell out of New Mexico. I think my new long-term plan is to head to the Greek Island of Lesbos (where I imagine the souvlaki is incredible). Or perhaps until then, I'll just start following the Indigo Girls tour.

squirrelly sex

I don't know why the College of Nursing has 25 people working on the teen pregnancy issue. The squirrels have it all figured out. I especially like the quote at the end from the animal activist who doesn't understand "why the county is getting their panties in a bunch."

tales of two 4th grade everythings

Quote of the day #1: "Today Michael and I were racing and I tripped over my shoelace and fell into a bunch of girls.". ---Zack, completely grossed out.

Quote of the day #2: "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! My tamagachi just threw up!" ---Michaela, completely grossed out.

the hoop-la

So last night at clinicals my preceptor tells me that I HAVE to take the Kaplan NCLEX class. And I'm thinking yeah, whatever, that musta cost a fortune. And she probably was reading my mind cuz then she said she didn't have to pay for it, she won it. She said, "I never win anything, but I won that." And I was like...wow...how lucky. I never win anything either. And then she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Today, you are going to win something. I can feel it."

So I'm driving home listening to the radio and Donnie Chase is talking about this amazing little basketball game/sucker/whistle that he found at Walgreens and they're giving them away on the air. So I'm like...wow...twins would love that crap. Basketball AND candy. So I call, get through on the first try, and win 2 suckers. (Proof that it's not WHAT you know, it's WHO you know when you need an extra prize from a radio show because you won something so incredibly cool but you just don't know which twin you're gonna give it to.)

I'm so excited now I can't sleep. And I gotta ask my preceptor tomorrow night what might happen to me on Friday. That woman is psychic.

Quote of the morning: "Forget the kids! Do you realize how many countless hours of fun and skill can be obtained with the Hoops Flicker?!" ---Melissa, in a text message, after the big win. You too can own one, for just 99 cents at Walgreens.

61. I can't wear that color green
62. my father
63. the tomatoes at Subway look nothing like the ones on the Subway television commercials
64. no more new Seinfeld episodes
65. unrequited love
66. both classes today
67. Satellite isn't open late enough for me to get coffee on my way to the VA
68. Colin stole the blog log
69. dental dams
70. I gotta go be a nurse. Like, right now.

make a wish

Cranes left to make: 0

41-60

Yep counts. It should count like 4 times.

41. marijuana isn't legal
42. taking a bite of something and noticing a hair in it
43. cool beans (that's like kudos to Katie)
44. my secret hasn't been posted
45. spanking children
46. people who say ewww gross to tofu but have never even tried it
47. peeling a really beautiful orange and then having it taste like shit
48. my sister's awesome high school boyfriend drowned when he was 15
49. the Disney corporation
50. 200 clinical hours
51. the states aren't arranged geographically by alphabet
52. when someone I'm really enjoying spending time with or talking to has to go
53. when people get close to my kids and then let them down, bail on them, blow them off, whatever
54. the bathroom isn't self-cleaning
55. I can't take my dog to class
56. season 3 of the L-word
57. the My So-Called Life movie hasn't been made yet and that people everywhere wonder what happened with the Angela Chase - Jordan Catalano - Brian Krakow love triangle
58. no episodes 7, 8, and 9
59. no cure for retroviruses
60. I gotta get up really, really early tomorrow

Quote of the night: "Norma did me in the nursery." ---Kathryn

You wish.

the graduation par-tay

Quote of the day: "How about we meet after our morning class on Monday to talk about future plans? We can stay in the classroom after our 8am class and discuss places and the possibility of importing albino elephants from Antarctica." ---Leslie, in a email about the "graduation par-tay."

Weird. People keep referencing Antarctica. And...wouldn't we rather import Bruce?

30-36

30. really stupid bumper stickers
31. Wal-mart
32. Antonella Barba didn't get booted last night
33. Shenoa is moving to Seattle
34. someone ate the last thin mint
35. Vincent Vega is in a dumb motorcycle movie
36. construction on I-40

like anything else matters

Zack's teacher gave exhub and me this poem this morning at parent teacher conferences. It was tough but we remained composed, although his teacher said she cried when she read it.

Zack
Exciting
Extraordinary
Responsible
Wishes to have invisibility
Wants to invent a new kind of sport
Wonders if earth will ever end
Who believes in peace
Who loves school and my family
Wants to be a doctor
I love my life


How many twins get to celebrate their parent teacher conferences: 2
How many days of school left: 52
How many clinical hours I have left: 200
How many days til graduation: 70
How many of my parents are coming: 1
How many cranes I still have to fold: 49

25

25. insomnia

offsetting my zen-ism of yoga with 13-24

I'm all about bulk, I guess. I'm almost at 1000 cranes (about 50 left), and I'm almost at 10,001 things to be pissed off about.

13. Patsy Duphorne
14. giving newborn babies methadone
15. Flying Star doesn't have pitchers (especially after 95 minutes of yoga in a 110 degree room)
16. not getting just 1 yahtzee in a whole game
17. The Police aren't coming to Abq
18. that homophobic asshole at Campfire
19. layovers
20. Jewish jokes (unless they're told by Jews)(and even then...)
21. ill-behaved children
22. the ending of Thelma and Louise
23. George Bush (all of them)
24. I'm not in California

Quote of the night: "Actually I think it tastes like battery acid." ---Shenoa, at dinner. What I want to know is how the hell you know what battery acid tastes like?

10,001 things to be pissed about?

Colin points to exciting blogs. Where's mine? And the new life one...she's a jew and blogged Purim, my favorite holiday.

I'm not answering my phone. Sorry, I gotta go do yoga in 110 degrees and purge stuff from my mind.

But first...I'll start my list of 10,001 things to be pissed about.

1. really cold air is coming in through my fireplace
2. Michaela is becoming completely snotty
3. people get in elevators before the people in them can get out
4. people i love are continuously mad at me
5. dr. watt isn't gonna be at our graduation party
6. paris hilton
7. CAIP
8. people who really wanna have babies (and would be great parents) have miscarriages
9. people confuse "you're" with "your" (it's not a complicated thing)
10. 14 year-olds on myspace
11. 14 year-olds who are my patients
12. to get good vietnamese food you have to go to vietnam?